Tuesday, May 13, 2008

"Dissapointment" by thomas franklin

My life is a roller coaster full of ups and downs
but it seems at the end i always end up with a frown
the smile it comes but then it goes
when the memories of my past woes
arise
i remember how hard i tried
how foolish was all the time i spent
beacause in the end it resulted in dissapointment

1 comment:

Nicole Gharda said...

So sad, Thomas! But it sounds like a lot of people can relate to that rollercoaster feeling. I would place commas and periods in here, even though it's a poem with a loose structure, because it will help your reader understand how to read it and where one thought ends and another begins. Would you be able to add one or two examples of this rollercoaster feeling actually at work in your own life? Excellent start, though! It would go nicely on a page with Rocio's entry about depression.

Ms. Gharda